A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of training at, and hosting, the Not Just Travel conference.
The room was buzzing!
A combination of coming out of the pandemic (which had decimated much of their business) and the boom in new bookings created a heady atmosphere.
But, there was an elephant in the room.
Flight cancellations.
Just as confidence in travel is increasing once again, the rug is pulled. The headlines proclaimed ‘124 flights cancelled’.
EEEK!
You could dwell on that. Or… Flip It.
Flip It thinking states…
The vast majority (98%) of flights flew.
I know that would be a pants news story.
Forget the news. Is that you? Do you focus on what’s wrong too?
I’m guilty.
I received the participant feedback from another event this week. It was glowing… In the main.
But three people just didn’t want to be Heppell’d.
And one, in particular, thought the organisers should know.
What would you focus on?
The dozens of positive comments sharing how brilliant they think you are, that they could have watched you all day and how your work is life-changing?
Or the one comment saying, ‘The speaker was dreadful, I hated him’?
Yep, me too!
And I’m the one who wrote the book on how not to fall into this trap*.
The good news is, I do walk the talk and after my thirty-second pity party, I applied a couple of Flip It tools and got over it.
What do you do to avoid focusing on the negative and to get yourself out of a funk? Let me know in the comments.
I’ll send a copy of my Sunday Times Number 1 Best Selling Book Flip It (and some readers still give it 1 star 😂) to our favourite.
Be Brilliant!
Michael
PS Have you ever thought about writing a non-fiction book? Maybe one to promote your business, passion or a memoir? If so, click here as I want to share something exciting with you.
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It’s as simple as ABC
Awareness … of what/negative thought you’re thinking
Breathe …. Take a deep breath and
Choose …. What to think next, the positive side of what is going on!
I envisage the biggest commission yet and myself in the Maldives as a result of it. Cocktail in hand, waves gently lapping. Mind over matter!
De-junking my head always gets me out of a funk. When I feel overwhelmed and my head is confused and my thoughts muddled, I get a notepad and write it all down. It kind of feels like a deep cleanse. I allow myself that time and jigs write until it’s all our! Then I feel my shoulders less tense and I am able to see my clearly again.
I would have said housework as decluttering and cleaning my home relaxes me as well and gets me balanced! But I’m a weirdo! 🤪
I think about how big the world is and how many people are in it and suddenly that one person or situation that I’ve let get to me seems tiny in comparison…
I look back on my life a year ago and look at my life now! What has changed is amazing and it makes me realize that the only way is up. Makes me Focus on the future and much ive achieved and overome xx
Newspaper headlines, “Breaking News” on television, and politicians grab your attention with recalculated statements to arouse your fears or anger. When I am confronted with something that makes me feel “that” feeling, I have learned to take a deep breath and ask, “I wonder what is the REST of that story?” I now naturally “flip it” before I allow myself to get too worked up.
Over the years I have built a strong eggshell around me. All negative comments bounce off me and I carry on. My moto is “So what, who cares, who’s next”. I know my goal, what I need to achieve and how can I help you. Should somebody not like me, the who’s next comes to the fore. Everybody will have a listener if you keep your positivity around you. Believe in yourself and your self-image and people will feel the love. You will have fewer negative comments. Why not start from today?
I’m feeling a little ‘stuck’ at the moment. I know where it’s coming from, but my mindset needs to be ‘flipped’.
In 2017 I became seriously ill and I nearly lost my life. It took two years to get back to some kind of normality, although I will always be seeing consultants and taking medication. I WAS happy to be alive. Then Covid hit and I was shielding for the most part. I did enjoy my walks in the evenings and made the most of the sunshine. I’d had Covid-19 three times, the first time with pneumonia but I WAS happy to still be here. Restrictions have been lifted and I am so desperate for a holiday but now there are problems st the airports and disruptions with railway workers being on strike. Now I am feeling ‘flat’. I know I should book anyway but I’m struggling to look forward. HELP!
To avoid focussing on the negative, which is difficult to say the least…….I always try to reflect in the moment of a conversation or situation and think of a +ve. I have 5 min end of day reflection with myself (preferably in a sauna or steam room!) and assess what could I have done differently to achieve a +ve outcome to situations or conversations. Over time reflecting in the moment has become easier. I have also read / refer occasionally to the book ‘You Can’t Afford The Luxury of a Negative Thought.’
Usually panic maybe cry then ring hubby for advice. Then talk it through deep breath and sort my self out.
I make sure I don’t waste my time taking advice from anyone who doesn’t love me as much as my dog!!
If I wouldn’t ask them for advice I certainly don’t accept their criticism of me. I fuss my dog and move on.
I take a hard look at myself in the mirror and remind myself of what I have to be grateful. I use a gratitude diary and read this to reinforce that. I alos take a loving look at my grandsons who father died and who were taken away form their mum. They are loving children who find joy in each day, if they can be happy and see the positive
in life I soon snap out of it and get on with my day
I’m desperately working on flipping things at the moment..trying to save my marriage. Every day I send my husband a message or a voice note remembering a good time or telling him I love him and miss him.
In other situations I have started keeping a journal of “medal moments” things that have gone well or specific complements given to me. I keep it with me all the time so that when I’m low I can take a look at all the good things that have happened.
I close my eyes, and imagine myself bathed in pure gold light. I tell myself I am awesone. It only takes a few seconds – that gold light is so powerful!
I got beat at golf Tuesday, Michael.
Got up Wednesday & the sun was shining and I realised I hadn’t practiced enough!
Moving on is soo important
Thank you for all your help
Have a coffee. Mull it over. Take a walk. Read it again, what were they really saying? Did I interpret it correctly? Have a tea. Disassociate myself from it, concentrate on something entirely different. Read it again, invariably I have calmed down by now. Sleep on it. Following day, all is good. The damage has reduced from being a dagger in my back, to a thorn in my side and will very soon be nothing more than a splinter. Job done!
I slow myself down. It’s easy to get caught up in the feeling and let it take over. So I calm my mind (which is a fuzzy mess when I’m spiralling) by taking some deep breaths. I then slow down and ask myself why I’m really feeling so upset or annoyed or whatever emotion I’m feeling. Because that surface emotion is not the real one, it’s more the symptom and not the actual cause, and I know when that is, because it generally slaps me in the face! Once I know what that is, I can then shift it to a different perspective, I can re-frame it.
Go for a swim and breathe! Go for a walk in Holyrood Park and watch the swans. In Karl’s book a great quote., Perspective is your superpower!!
When I find myself feeling negative, upset or even angry about something, or someone, I make myself write down at least three things or three people that I am thankful for in that moment. Doing this normally gets me smiling again!
This is something I really struggle with and am still suffering the after effects of feedback from 3 months ago. Best read the flip it book
I will obsess about the negativity for a while, and maybe feel upset or even angry – depending on what it is – but I usually have a word with myself. I tell myself, ‘Right, you – get a grip! THIS is NOT the boss of YOU!!’ And then I immediately go and do something purposeful to show ‘it’ who IS boss!
It tends to go in stages:
– Get upset/mad
– Overthink/stress
– Have a word!
– Do something practical – like sort out some drawers, empty the dishwasher (or another job I’ve been putting off!) – preferably the noisier the better (maybe subconsciously drowning out the negative thoughts?!)
– Write a list of pros and cons, and MAKE myself find more pros, no matter how trivial, just so I can see that long list!
– Go out for a coffee with my best friend to ‘decant and de-rant’ the remaining negativity, and show off about how I ‘bossed’ it!!
That usually does it!😄
I used to think it was a stupid suggestion, but now I’m all for it. Imagine the person without clothes..it’s hilarious.