1. You forgive more often
2. You respect difference
3. You’re critical less and open-minded more
4. You don’t compare yourself to others
5. You find the good in people and speak nicely about them behind their backs
6. You choose to be happy, humble and helpful
7. You speak when you can make a difference and listen when you can’t

I found this list in my notebook from mid 2013. I apologise if it’s someone else’s I’ve lifted.

Maturity isn’t necessarily connected to age. I’ve met 12-year-olds with more maturity than fifty-somethings.

You can choose maturity. Work on it. Hone and develop it.

I must have missed some from my list.  What do you think are the signs of maturity?  Please comment below.

A copy of my book Brilliant Life will be sent to our favourite.

Be Brilliant!


PS I have one, ‘one-to-one’ coaching slot coming up in 2020.  If you’ve ever thought about being coached by me then take a look at what other former coaching clients have said here and if you’d like to know more, get in touch.


  1. September 26th 2019 by Daniel

    You develop the ability to learn from the past, but not let it influence the present.
    You take responsibility for your own decisions and don’t blame them on; partner, parents, manager…brexit!!

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      I was with you right to the last word 🙂 You are are 100 right. It’s not just saying you take responsibility it’s making it an action. The ability to respond!

  2. September 26th 2019 by Alan Rafferty

    Another one which is not currently fashionable is that you take responsibility and apologise when you get it wrong. And by appologise I do not mean “I am sorry that you feel that way ” which is just a form of victimization.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Alan you are so in my moment with this. I’ve already written next weeks newsletter and it’s on this exact subject. Hope you like it.

  3. September 26th 2019 by Caroline Christer

    Loyalty – through thick and thin

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Easy to say, harder to do, appreciated for ever by those who receive it.

  4. September 26th 2019 by Lucy

    I really resonated with these Michael. I think I admit when I am wrong and apologise for it more often. You might have to verify with Colin!

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      I’m sure you are world class at this Lucy xx

  5. September 26th 2019 by Bharath

    The true sign of maturity is knowing when to ‘Let Go’.

    Be it an argument, a relationship, a goal, a task or even a material possession, letting go at the right time before it causes harm to oneself or to others is the true definition of maturity for me. Mature individuals value relations and personal peace over trivialities and unnecessary pursuits.

    Thank you!
    Bharath K Balasubramanian

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Great words of advice Bharath. Thank you for sharing.

  6. September 26th 2019 by Rachel H

    You welcome and accept advice and guidance as just that – not as intended criticism of how you have done things thus far

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Spot on. And thank you for the advice 🙂

  7. September 26th 2019 by Nick Halder

    I once had it described to me as finally recognising that the rest of the world is not obsessing about you and what you are doing. In fact they are not even thinking about you and what you are doing – that is all just in your own head.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      And in these days of social media it’s multiplied x 100. You are so right at the end of the day no one gives a chuff about you 🙂

  8. September 26th 2019 by Holly Hayhow

    8. You choose warmth over fashion

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Holly I – LOVE – THIS! We were out for dinner with friends last night and reading through the list we all laughed, nodded and agreed.

  9. September 26th 2019 by noel sherwood

    You are conscious of how your actions can affect and make others feel

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      This should be in big letters in parliament right now.

  10. September 26th 2019 by Alan Reed

    You are always trying to learn something new.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Well I know you are Alan. And you’re brilliant at it!

  11. September 26th 2019 by Chris Berrett

    The ability to differentiate between the things that really matter, & the things that just appear to be a big deal in the moment.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Isn’t it funny when you look back at what you thought was important and what we think now?

  12. September 26th 2019 by Nikki duffy

    Being grateful for what you have and recognising and accepting your own feelings and needs and not needing someone else to complete you

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Always starts by loving yourself first.

  13. September 26th 2019 by Emma Martin

    Probably a mix of some of the previous comments but the ability to choose your arguments. If you have little or no influence over a situation, especially if this creates additional stress, is it worth getting involved in an argument? As I’ve got older I find I’m less confrontational.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      I’ve sooooo had to learn this one Emma, it’s a challenge at times for me to keep my mouth shut.

  14. September 26th 2019 by Annie Watsham

    Knowing that whatever is happening at this very moment is happening for a reason and however tough/hard/distressing it is that it’s the right thing for this moment…it’s difficult but achievable with practice.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      One of main mantra’s is, ‘This too will pass’. Good and bad… ‘this too will pass’.

  15. September 26th 2019 by Doug Hertel

    8. You are able to keep things in proper perspective.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Yep – simple and true.

  16. September 26th 2019 by DEE

    Oooh….knowing that maturity is a ripening and transient process… that there is an “eat now”, a “ready for ripening at home” & then the “past it’s best” stage which could mean it’s good for pickling or curing in some way… becomes a bit tougher but still tasty… or in “wisdom” terms, maybe a bit tougher but retaining all the learning from experiences assimilated during those ripening days… to share if invited??? DEE xx

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Ohhh Dee, you are so full of wisdom. I love your analogies. x

  17. September 26th 2019 by Martin Dobinson

    Maturity reached is when a situation has exploded and you find yourself ensuring both parties walk away with heads held high, dignity intact and friendship unaltered… this also works when helping children to empathise with each other when they have hurt each other physically or verbally

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      That sounds like the voice of experience, Martin.

  18. September 26th 2019 by Hannah Wheelee

    When you can be truly happy and enjoy someone’s else’s success

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      I love this. I remember when I first started my business I went to a seminar where the speaker suggested you should ‘destroy your competition’. I felt uncomfortable then but didn’t comment as I thought that he must be the expert. I love seeing success, everywhere, even with my competition. A high tide sees all ships rise.

  19. September 26th 2019 by Tracy

    We never actually own anything, we only borrow it while we’re here and pass it to someone else to borrow when we’re gone.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell


  20. September 26th 2019 by Susan Lowry

    Gosh – find that my thoughts are replicated by so many others and that is uplifting, reaffirming and gives me so much hope.

    For me it’s recognising when and how you have messed up: acknowledging it, apologising for it and making reparation.

    In addition, I find that the ability to be honest comes only with a growing maturity. Honesty in all things is my aim as I approach my fiftieth year. Integrity has always been a core value but honesty in relationships is not always easy.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Isn’t it refreshing to meet someone who is honest? Recognition of our weaknesses is our strength.

  21. September 26th 2019 by Mark Sones

    In these troubled times, full of friction for whatever reason or purpose.
    We need to remember:, whether gay or straight, black or white, young or aged, abled or disabled.
    We all share the same organs and same sensibilities.
    We all plough through life as best we can.
    Can we all, please, recognise the values of others, regardless of colour, age and disability (and beleive me, we are all disabled in one way or another!)

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      I love ‘we are all disabled in one way or another’ how true.

  22. September 27th 2019 by SANDRA LOUCAO

    You choose your battles so you only use your energy on what is meaningful to you .

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Very sound advice. Especially during the turbulent times.

  23. September 27th 2019 by Mel Heath

    You realise that you need to revisit the signs of maturity and make sure that you are still reminding yourself to live by the ones that don’t come naturally. I put reminders in my diary. Today your “When Customer Service Doesn’t Matter” is scheduled to read at 3pm!

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      I’m using reminders and making ‘appointments with myself’ more and more often. Hope you enjoyed the article.

  24. September 27th 2019 by william

    8: You don’t “sweat the small stuff”.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      And it’s all small stuff! Richard Carlson classic. https://amzn.to/2ndK2Ym

  25. September 27th 2019 by Remha R

    1. Giving away what you love to others who need kindheartedly.
    2. Doing /or Helping others without any expectation.
    3. Tolerance to differences and accommodate with inclusiveness.
    4. Giving a hearing (listening) even when you have more pressing need to talk.

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      Lovely list. Thank you.

  26. September 27th 2019 by Eddie Wrigley

    You enjoy quiet moments without feeling you have to be doing something productive all of the time 🙂

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      This was one of my goals a few years ago. I still have to work at not working – but I’m getting there.

  27. September 27th 2019 by Stuart Hosegood


    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell

      I love that you took a day to write that 🙂

  28. September 27th 2019 by Kevin

    You look in the mirror and accept that the reflection really is you!

    1. September 27th 2019 by Michael Heppell


  29. September 28th 2019 by Wayne Jones

    When you start and sound like your Father! I do it all the time!

  30. October 6th 2020 by Olly hadya

    Be a decent Human being. Emotionally aware of the detail the small things whilst not being distracted by them.

add comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *