1. You forgive more often
2. You respect difference
3. You’re critical less and open-minded more
4. You don’t compare yourself to others
5. You find the good in people and speak nicely about them behind their backs
6. You choose to be happy, humble and helpful
7. You speak when you can make a difference and listen when you can’t
I found this list in my notebook from mid 2013. I apologise if it’s someone else’s I’ve lifted.
Maturity isn’t necessarily connected to age. I’ve met 12-year-olds with more maturity than fifty-somethings.
You can choose maturity. Work on it. Hone and develop it.
I must have missed some from my list. What do you think are the signs of maturity? Please comment below.
A copy of my book Brilliant Life will be sent to our favourite.
PS I have one, ‘one-to-one’ coaching slot coming up in 2020. If you’ve ever thought about being coached by me then take a look at what other former coaching clients have said here and if you’d like to know more, get in touch.
You develop the ability to learn from the past, but not let it influence the present.
You take responsibility for your own decisions and don’t blame them on; partner, parents, manager…brexit!!
I was with you right to the last word 🙂 You are are 100 right. It’s not just saying you take responsibility it’s making it an action. The ability to respond!
Another one which is not currently fashionable is that you take responsibility and apologise when you get it wrong. And by appologise I do not mean “I am sorry that you feel that way ” which is just a form of victimization.
Alan you are so in my moment with this. I’ve already written next weeks newsletter and it’s on this exact subject. Hope you like it.
Loyalty – through thick and thin
Easy to say, harder to do, appreciated for ever by those who receive it.
I really resonated with these Michael. I think I admit when I am wrong and apologise for it more often. You might have to verify with Colin!
I’m sure you are world class at this Lucy xx
The true sign of maturity is knowing when to ‘Let Go’.
Be it an argument, a relationship, a goal, a task or even a material possession, letting go at the right time before it causes harm to oneself or to others is the true definition of maturity for me. Mature individuals value relations and personal peace over trivialities and unnecessary pursuits.
Bharath K Balasubramanian
Great words of advice Bharath. Thank you for sharing.
You welcome and accept advice and guidance as just that – not as intended criticism of how you have done things thus far
Spot on. And thank you for the advice 🙂
I once had it described to me as finally recognising that the rest of the world is not obsessing about you and what you are doing. In fact they are not even thinking about you and what you are doing – that is all just in your own head.
And in these days of social media it’s multiplied x 100. You are so right at the end of the day no one gives a chuff about you 🙂
8. You choose warmth over fashion
Holly I – LOVE – THIS! We were out for dinner with friends last night and reading through the list we all laughed, nodded and agreed.
You are conscious of how your actions can affect and make others feel
This should be in big letters in parliament right now.
You are always trying to learn something new.
Well I know you are Alan. And you’re brilliant at it!
The ability to differentiate between the things that really matter, & the things that just appear to be a big deal in the moment.
Isn’t it funny when you look back at what you thought was important and what we think now?
Being grateful for what you have and recognising and accepting your own feelings and needs and not needing someone else to complete you
Always starts by loving yourself first.
Probably a mix of some of the previous comments but the ability to choose your arguments. If you have little or no influence over a situation, especially if this creates additional stress, is it worth getting involved in an argument? As I’ve got older I find I’m less confrontational.
I’ve sooooo had to learn this one Emma, it’s a challenge at times for me to keep my mouth shut.
Knowing that whatever is happening at this very moment is happening for a reason and however tough/hard/distressing it is that it’s the right thing for this moment…it’s difficult but achievable with practice.
One of main mantra’s is, ‘This too will pass’. Good and bad… ‘this too will pass’.
8. You are able to keep things in proper perspective.
Yep – simple and true.
Oooh….knowing that maturity is a ripening and transient process… that there is an “eat now”, a “ready for ripening at home” & then the “past it’s best” stage which could mean it’s good for pickling or curing in some way… becomes a bit tougher but still tasty… or in “wisdom” terms, maybe a bit tougher but retaining all the learning from experiences assimilated during those ripening days… to share if invited??? DEE xx
Ohhh Dee, you are so full of wisdom. I love your analogies. x
Maturity reached is when a situation has exploded and you find yourself ensuring both parties walk away with heads held high, dignity intact and friendship unaltered… this also works when helping children to empathise with each other when they have hurt each other physically or verbally
That sounds like the voice of experience, Martin.
When you can be truly happy and enjoy someone’s else’s success
I love this. I remember when I first started my business I went to a seminar where the speaker suggested you should ‘destroy your competition’. I felt uncomfortable then but didn’t comment as I thought that he must be the expert. I love seeing success, everywhere, even with my competition. A high tide sees all ships rise.
We never actually own anything, we only borrow it while we’re here and pass it to someone else to borrow when we’re gone.
Gosh – find that my thoughts are replicated by so many others and that is uplifting, reaffirming and gives me so much hope.
For me it’s recognising when and how you have messed up: acknowledging it, apologising for it and making reparation.
In addition, I find that the ability to be honest comes only with a growing maturity. Honesty in all things is my aim as I approach my fiftieth year. Integrity has always been a core value but honesty in relationships is not always easy.
Isn’t it refreshing to meet someone who is honest? Recognition of our weaknesses is our strength.
In these troubled times, full of friction for whatever reason or purpose.
We need to remember:, whether gay or straight, black or white, young or aged, abled or disabled.
We all share the same organs and same sensibilities.
We all plough through life as best we can.
Can we all, please, recognise the values of others, regardless of colour, age and disability (and beleive me, we are all disabled in one way or another!)
I love ‘we are all disabled in one way or another’ how true.
You choose your battles so you only use your energy on what is meaningful to you .
Very sound advice. Especially during the turbulent times.
You realise that you need to revisit the signs of maturity and make sure that you are still reminding yourself to live by the ones that don’t come naturally. I put reminders in my diary. Today your “When Customer Service Doesn’t Matter” is scheduled to read at 3pm!
I’m using reminders and making ‘appointments with myself’ more and more often. Hope you enjoyed the article.
8: You don’t “sweat the small stuff”.
And it’s all small stuff! Richard Carlson classic. https://amzn.to/2ndK2Ym
1. Giving away what you love to others who need kindheartedly.
2. Doing /or Helping others without any expectation.
3. Tolerance to differences and accommodate with inclusiveness.
4. Giving a hearing (listening) even when you have more pressing need to talk.
Lovely list. Thank you.
You enjoy quiet moments without feeling you have to be doing something productive all of the time 🙂
This was one of my goals a few years ago. I still have to work at not working – but I’m getting there.
I love that you took a day to write that 🙂
You look in the mirror and accept that the reflection really is you!
When you start and sound like your Father! I do it all the time!
Be a decent Human being. Emotionally aware of the detail the small things whilst not being distracted by them.