You send a WhatsApp message to a friend, and you know they’ve read it (two blue ticks) but they haven’t responded. What’s wrong?

Your boss gives you ‘feedback’. Obviously, they have it in for you and think you’re rubbish.

Your partner is quiet and doesn’t want to talk. What are they up to?

And the thoughts keep on coming.


Overthinking is something everyone does. A prerequisite of modern living to fill in the gaps with your version of events.

The problem with overthinking is it usually involves a situation that’s outside of your control and often involves someone else.

In other words, the ‘overthinker in you’ is thinking on behalf of the other person.


Here’s the truth.


The other person isn’t overthinking. They probably don’t even have you on their radar.

Your friend, who read your WhatsApp message (but didn’t respond) is probably busy. They hope to reply later: But if they forget? So what, you’ve done it.

The boss who was overly critical in your eyes, sincerely believes they’ve given you some good positive developmental feedback. And not just that, they think that one day you’ll thank them for it.

Your quiet partner is just being… quiet. A little quiet time is ok. They think you’re being over the top by wanting to fix everything.


What’s the solution?

Overthinking only fills the gaps when your mind isn’t occupied with something more positive and productive.

Focus on what you can influence.

Fill your time moving forward.

Give others a chance. Odds are they’re doing their best.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, please share them below.

Be Brilliant!



  1. September 28th 2023 by Judy Brulo

    I totally agree.

  2. September 28th 2023 by Robyn Morrison

    Oh my oh my, and a bottle of rum!
    Yes I can in certain situations be an over thinker!
    I can also be very analytical depending on the situation. But this is not productive. I battle to set boundaries too. So all the above can be a uinderance.

  3. September 28th 2023 by Robyn Morrison

    Sorry that should have read -* hinderance.

  4. September 28th 2023 by Lisa Carelse

    Right now reading this, it really resonates! I am doing this, you articulated it perfectly, thank

  5. September 28th 2023 by Marilyn Payne

    Overthinking when it comes to my daughter. I’ve sent her a WhatsApp message. She hasn’t seen it. She’s off work today. Why hasn’t she read it? She cou6 be unwell, or just shopping, or out with friends. Finally, I get a reply. “Sorry Mum. I’ve been working on the garden. all day”. I’m relieved and feel guilty she felt the need to apologise.

  6. September 28th 2023 by Ann

    Champion overthinker right here!

  7. September 29th 2023 by Margaret Petherbridge

    Definitely me – though I’m getting better. Particularly bad for this if I think I have inadvertently upset someone and can’t wait for the opportunity to straighten things out only to find I definitely wasn’t ‘on their radar’.

  8. September 29th 2023 by Neil

    Have always been an overthinker – it’s exhausting. “Focus on what you can influence” really resonates with me. A very helpful mantra I was given was “control the controllables” – it helps!

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