I’ve found myself being a PP.

Have you?

A PP here.

PP there.

Here a P.

There a P.

You get it.

It’s…

 

People Pleasing.

And gosh, it’s tiring.

Attempting to reply to every comment.

Answer every question.

Having a ‘yes’ attitude.

Accepting too much.

Taking on other people’s problems.

The worst is when you feel guilty about doing the things you want to do!

 

My mate Paul Mort and I talked about this a while ago and he hit me with this. ‘By being a people pleaser I became angry at the people I was trying to please!’

Here’s a thought.

Rather than trying to please everybody.

Bring joy to one person.

And if that person needs to be you…

 

So be it.

Are you a people pleaser? How do you deal with it?

I’d love to know what you think below.

Be Brilliant!

Michael

comments

  1. January 25th 2024 by Jeannie Duncanson

    I do tend to try and help everyone if I can, when truth be known, it’s exhausting. Even though my life isn’t easy, I always feel that if I can help others I will. Sometimes to the detriment of me!

  2. January 25th 2024 by beth jordan

    Thank for this Michael, I’m not a people pleaser and never have been, but am aware with social media, consistency is key. I struggle to answer all the many comments. I know the consequence is that when I comment, there is not much reciprocosity
    There are not enough hours in the day to reply to all the wonderful people I would like to engage with, but I try. So I will have to do the best I can

  3. January 25th 2024 by Carol May

    Oh I used to be a PP – big time! I thought I was here to save the world!
    Then learned about the Drama Triangle + PAC in my counselling training and I realised just how dangerous it was to be a PP!!
    Life feels much better with boundaries, starting with me and how I feel!!

  4. January 25th 2024 by Sue Clarke

    Thank you. This came just at the right moment as I was trying to decide whether to force myself to go to event which is a nightmare to get to, I feel tired out after a day out and tbh no one will notice if I don’t go. However I would be pp-ing. I will take your advice and please me.

  5. January 25th 2024 by Noel Wincote

    Mainly, I listen to people, rather than giving my opinion, only afterwards, do I offer my thoughts, if the subject is known to me, even then people just like the sound of their own voice and tend to hog the limelight, that way they blow off steam so to speak, which Is better than getting an earful.

  6. January 25th 2024 by Claire Nicholas

    I used to be a pp. I wanted people to like me. Not any more – they either take me for who I am, or not. I am much more relaxed now and, ironically, more like the person I was trying to be, simply because I am now happier in my own skin.

  7. January 25th 2024 by Debbie ‘Maximus’ Lynn

    Well it turns out I’m a raging PP! In my personal life I managed to stop this a couple of years ago to the point of removing toxic family members completely from my life but in work……….well that’s another story- I had a variety of calls and meetings today and was asked to take on more and more- small and big tasks, my ‘to do’ list is like the Dead Sea Scrolls that I could roll around the world twice. And today, when asked my brain screamed no, but my lips muttered ‘I can do that’. It’s funny how we fall into old patterns, and even when we know, we still do it! But this is helpful today as it’s made me sit up straight and tomorrow I am going to redo my lists and delegate, plus send some emails saying workload is at max capacity so my list is closed! Thanks Michael!

  8. January 26th 2024 by Paulina K

    What a great suggestion, bring joy to one person- keep my efforts focused and still maintain the energy. I’ve heard a theory that people pleasing may actually be our way of protecting ourselves in situations when we can’t stand discomfort of others. Food for thought

  9. January 26th 2024 by Alison Higginson

    I have always tried to please people and it is only as I am getting older that I want to try and please me too. Have started to become more assertive, in the hope that I get something for me out of the deal. Obviously I do get some emotional reward out of pleasing people. I must say that I give up much more by trying to please family and not offend them, even if it really puts me out, Christmas being one of the worst times.

  10. January 30th 2024 by Matthew Chandaengerwa

    Very true this Michael but one can’t be too clinical about it. It becomes a matter of selective application. But I have noticed, as I have grown older, that i find it more tedious to please everyone – a result I guess of the disappointments experienced in dealing with certain people over the years.
    But there are lucky ones like you Mike who have found a platform like this one to please many of us at the same time!!

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