My wife is brilliant.

Last week, completely out of the blue, she asked, ‘How many ways can you love someone?’

It’s one of those magical questions where you begin to respond before realising it deserves a little more thought.




That look?



The list could, and should, go on.

Our conversation was wonderful. Some insights included:

Often the smallest ways to show love, have the biggest impact.
Grand gestures feel better for the giver than the receiver.
Are actions really better than words?

I guess it depends on the actions and the words.

When I write these messages, I rarely resist asking The Google for some global filtered advice. This time I’ve discovered (thanks to Cosmopolitan) there are 8 types of love.

Eros (sexual passion)

Philia (deep friendship)

Ludus (playful love)

Agape (love for everyone)

Pragma (longstanding love)

Philautia (love of the self)

Storge (family love)

Mania (obsessive love)


Where’s Unconditional Love, Cosmo? That must be the best.

Today’s question. How do you show love?

Please share your thoughts below.

I love you.


  1. December 15th 2022 by Jane Parsons

    Wow, Michael. That’s such a warming, thought-provoking post. I’ll just start by saying I love the way you say and write The Google. The rest of the planet says Google. Don’t change it.
    We are so poorly equipped in English to express love in words.
    I love my husband.
    I love my children.
    I love my dog.
    I love gardening.
    I love reading.
    I love writing more.
    I love hot chocolate.
    I love eating vegetables from the garden.
    All using love, all meaning very different types of love.
    It’s interesting to use “like” sometimes. It sounds like a weak word, but when it’s in context, it can be powerful.
    Sometimes I love my husband, but I really don’t like him that day.
    Thanks for the lovely post. I love it.

  2. December 15th 2022 by Milly Hayward

    By trying to think of ways to make my loved ones happy on a daily basis. Whether family, friends or husband. A kind supportive word, a small unexpected gift. Being honest even when its not the easy option. Giving of my time to help and support and always reminding them how special and loved they are.

  3. December 15th 2022 by Rosemary Duns

    Unconditional and selfless love. Putting others before you (though sometimes you have to take a step back and think of yourself!).

  4. December 15th 2022 by Beth Price

    Ooh that is a deep one! All the types of love and the ways to show it. Words without actions to back them up are definitely BS to me. Had a husband for 20 years who would say, “I love you,” but did nothing to prove it.
    Have a fab husband now who shows and tells.
    Is there such a thing as unconditional love? Agape or family love probably nearest to it.

  5. December 15th 2022 by Laura Hastie

    I think by making other people feel safe and protected

  6. December 15th 2022 by Gigi

    There are many ways we can show love but the question is how many ways can you love someone , there are all types of love for all different people in our lives ,

    Love is familiarity, it’s what we know and what we have learned through observation or words or actions/gestures throughout generations.

    Love is life , it breathes through us all and we all show it differently as we show it how we received/observed it .

    This in my opinion is why we question another’s meaning or interpretation of love , don’t judge it’s how they learned it, however we are all capable of further learning so teach someone, be careful though as you can only teach how you learned and so to others outside your circle they may judge and not how they perceive it.

    So how to love someone is different for us all but it’s still love .


  7. December 15th 2022 by AnnA

    By showing up every day, especially on the bad ones, and reaffirming they are loved.

  8. December 15th 2022 by Michael Moses

    I feel it is a combination of unconditional love and action to that!!

  9. December 15th 2022 by Ms Marie Cochrane

    I love that you talk about love Michael. I recently listened to the conversation about breathing that came with the White Island audio. It was So Helpful!! When I listened to it I felt so grateful that you had made it available, and for the other ways you support so many people with such warmth.
    I thought to myself I love ( agape 🙂 Michael Heppell

  10. December 15th 2022 by Janet Mrs R

    I just look after them all. My husband and my adult boys. I do all the shopping, planning for meals, cooking the meals, the laundry and ironing and the general running of the house (I only work part time) and what I don’t do falls into the blue job category (running lifts, car stuff etc) I may not , indeed, I do not tell them I love them as often as I should but to me, what I do for them is simply that I love them. The old adage actions speak louder than words. I also know those words should be said more often – note to self!

  11. December 15th 2022 by Judith Lisgarten

    My husband is head injured but his intelligence is not affected . There is a huge mismatch between his brain and common sense . Last week we were running a new community project and I asked him to put the urn on ! I left him to it . I walked away and when I came back he had poured ten litres of homemade soup in , because I hadn’t said put water in the urn and he was holding the soup ! He blew the element and said it was my fault because I wasn’t clear !
    Love is buying a new urn for the club and not making him feel bad . Love is not pouring the soup all over his head ! Love is laughing and resolving to be clearer next time . Love is crying with laughter at the embarrassment of the situation . Love is being thankful that he doesn’t get upset about it . Love is putting it behind us and starting to chop vegetables for a new batch of soup .

  12. December 15th 2022 by SUE

    That look. That’s all I need to make me melt, for my heart to beat quicker, for my knees to go weak. I’m in love with being in love.

  13. December 15th 2022 by Jane Brady

    What a lovely post Michael xx
    When I did my English A Level (ahem, a looong time ago), we were taught there were 3 types of love; Eros, agape and philia I think.
    I agree there are in fact many more ways to love.
    I express my love in many ways ; verbal and non-verbal; listening, hugging, facial expressions, gestures, the list goes on…but what I do know is that I have an abundance of it, and for that I’m extremely grateful ☺️

  14. December 16th 2022 by Jacqueline Proud

    Love to me is loving someone more than you love yourself…

  15. February 13th 2023 by Milly Hayward

    The recipe for a long and loving marriage is “Putting each other first” If you always put each other’s needs before your own you will never want for anything. It’s thinking about what you can do or say to make others happy. It can be secretly (they never know) or to their face to see them smile. A kind gesture word, smile or small thoughtful gift can change someone’s day. Actions speak louder than words.

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