I need an ice cream

I need a long dress

I need a faster car

I need a new house

Need or want?

The difference between what we need and what we want is subtle.

But vital.

Being able to differentiate between these two verbs can make the difference between being happy or sad.

The child doesn’t need the ice cream, the teenager doesn’t need a new dress, the twenty-something doesn’t need a faster car and the middle-aged couple don’t need a new house.

They might want them, but they don’t need them.

When you add ‘like’ in the mix, this subtle variation can make an even bigger difference.

Have you experienced this? It’s Friday night (after one of those weeks) and you find yourself saying, ‘I need a drink’.  Do you need, want or would you like a drink?

I know the answer, I’ve had those weeks too!

What about, ‘I want a new job’, when actually you might like a new job but what you really need is a new challenge?

It’s simple, but very powerful reframing.

     What do you actually need? 

     What do you really want?  

     What would you ultimately like? 

Intelligent questioning suggests we slow down and consider our needs, wants and likes before we say them.  And listen to others too; is their need really a want?

A challenge for the weekend?

As always I’d love your thoughts. Please comment below.

Be Brilliant!


PS My private How to Be Brilliant Facebook group now has over 800 members. Just some of the discussions and posts this week have included: books to recommend as gifts, a shout out to who has inspired you, a fantastic guide to ‘Mindful March’, how members have liberated themselves, first impressions, light bulb moments, managing difficult people, dealing with lack of action between meetings, a fantastic time-management technique, a whinge about airport security and a whole lot more.

Plus, in the last Fix It Friday, my live video, I managed to get an attack of the giggles by not reading a request for help properly. Members can watch the embarrassing replay.

If you enjoy what I share in these newsletters, then please head over and join the group .  I’m sure you’ll love it.


  1. March 6th 2020 by This Phone Rory Conner Handcrafted Knives

    Ah it it all in the getting!

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